Parenting Pep Talk & 2019 Favorites | Louisville & Southern Indiana Family Photographer
We’re now over a month into 2020 and I still find myself thinking about the areas of my life I want to work on. One of my main goals is to simply enjoy the days I have with the ones I love. It sounds easy, but I think we all know that life can have a way of knocking us off track somedays and distracting us from what’s most important.
I’m so thankful to have people in my life that remind me that even the mundane days are full of beauty and purpose. Connecting with others in similar seasons as me, as well as with parents who are farther along in their journey, have helped me so much to stay grounded, grateful, and humble.
Back in the summer I collected a ton of great parenting advice from you all and I’m FINALLY getting around to sharing it. This stuff is so good, you all. If you need a little mindset shift or perspective change, take a minute to read all the goodness below. A big thank you to everyone who shared their parenting thoughts, and a big sorry that it took me so long to share it with others!
Life is a gift and time with our loved ones is such a blessing. Whatever we are looking for, we will find. So let’s look for the positive, the joy, and the light. Let’s make it our goal to search for and cherish the simple beauty in our days. I hope all the sweet advice below can help you do just that.
Don’t rush them. Enjoy them being little because they grow so fast. Don’t compare them to what others babies/toddlers/kids are doing. Each child grows and learns at their own pace.
Let them make messes because you’ll miss them as they get older.
Hold them.
Love them.
SPOIL them.
Be there for them every step of the way no matter what.
ENJOY THEM!!!
It’s okay not to be busy all the time! Enjoy time at home as a family! kids love to be home to just play and enjoy their siblings! — “Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. It is okay to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is okay to not be busy.” (Joshua Becker)
Enjoy all things they bring to the world everyday!! A beautiful, wise, warm hearted woman, Shelly Blake, gave me the best advice when I was pregnant with my 2nd baby Raelyn. She said, "Remember how tiny and small Lienna is now because when Raelyn is born you will forget how small they are and were. Take in every moment... feel her fingers, her feet , her face, (and so on)." To this day I still do this with both of my girls. I take in the moments in time that I share with them at that moment because I will never have that particular moment, day, time ever again!!! And yes...I still feel their fingers, hands, ears, etc to help me embrace and show down their growing in that exact moment!!!
Everyday is a gift that has been placed in your life with each child you have been blessed with. Treat it as such.
Each day will bring new challenges, some good, some not so good.
There will be days you look at yourself in the mirror and not sure who is this person looking back at you. The once fun, stay up all night, having fun with your friends women, can hardly find the time to even pull herself together because she is so busy making sure he precious babies are clean and feed.
Best advice of all, let them see you smile and hear you laugh at yourself. They do not care what you look like, they do not want you to be their friend, they just want to see their mother happy and feel her love. And remember, even when you think you look your worst, take those photos with you in them. You will be so happy later on that you did. And they will too.
As a mother of four ranging in ages 33 to 16 I remember days I was not sure how I was going to get everything done. But I will say this, now that my last one will soon be leaving the nest, I would take every crazy, insane, fun filled days and do them all again. Seeing what amazing adults they are becoming brings a smile to my heart knowing I must have done something right.
Listen to them. Even if it seems so non-important. Look them in the eyes and really listen. This will come back to you later when they really need someone they can trust to talk to.
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Throw all of your expectations out the window because you will be disappointed and no one wants that. Set standards for your morals and values that they must uphold, but let them make their own way and live up to their own expectations. I am so guilty of putting the pressure of “perfect” on my son. And as promised I was left disappointed. He is not me and doesn’t have the same brain as me. Some how I thought because I made him he would be a carbon copy. Once I let go of my expectations he has been flourishing into his own young man. Parenting is a day by day learning experience and changes daily.
You have to get over your insecurities and just be present. Put on the bathing suit...forget about the makeup...get in the pictures... your kids don't care about any of that! They just want you to spend the time with them and create memories. Enjoy every second because it goes so fast!
What did I know as an 18 year old dad? I knew to love their mother and let them see it. Be the parent and not worry about being their friend. That comes later. Time together trumps possessions. Consequences to your actions, both good and bad. Generosity over selfishness = happy instead of sad. Above all is love.
They are literally growing up by the second. The dishes, laundry, yard work, and chores will always be there. Take the time to soak them in. You won't get a second chance.
Treat others the way you want to be treated and don’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to you! ☺️
Don’t ever say “My kids will NEVER do that!” Because sure enough they will. It’s how they learn what you expect and what they can get by with. Love them unconditionally!
Hold those babies as long as they will let you. Don't be so strict on a schedule they usually make their own. They are either good sleepers or not❤
The hardest thing for me was teaching them to be independent and if they make a mistake, living with the consequences. We may not always be around or able to protect them and do things for them as much as we want to. I am as guilty as the next momma that just wants to do everything for them.
Everything is a stage- the good and the bad. Cherish and soak in the good, and know that the bad will soon pass.
Never allow them to be a quitter just because they don’t like something. We encounter many things in life we may not like...school, sports, jobs, etc. but sometimes you can’t just quit. If taught from a young age that if you start something you must finish it through I believe it teaches them responsibility and to be more stable as they grow up. They learn they can’t be all Nilly Willy.
The best advice I give is to build memories with your family. It’s best to look back and smile than cry.
Try not to compare your children to others or even siblings. We all can get caught in the comparison trap even as mothers.
Invest in memories... don’t buy all the toys because they really don’t need much to be entertained. Instead spend that money on a family night out or weekend away to create memories for them that will last way longer than the toys.
Time flies! (Find patience!) Live one day at a time! Focus on today and make memories! Sing to and with your children. Be the role model for kindness and humbleness! (Find patience!) Let them be who they are...not who you want them to be! That one is one of the hardest! Hug them tight! Always tell them and show them that you love them...that's an easy one! (Find patience!) Tell them and show them that you are proud of them! Give them space! Teach them about our Savior. Wish I had prayed more with my children! Teach your children that ALL things are possible....through Christ! (Find patience with both your children and yourself!). ✌️❤️🙏🤟😃
Respect is key! You respect them and they will respect you back. ♥️
Remember to hug them every day and tell them you love them. This is easy to forget to do as they get older. And respect their feelings. When they are upset or frustrated, don’t brush it off because you know it’s silly or not important. It’s important to them.
Everything is a phase. If they don't sleep through the night now, they will one day. If they love nothing more than cuddling with you when they get up in the morning, one day it won't be their favorite thing to do anymore. So, take it all in. The good, the bad, and the ugly because they are all just phases that will end one day.
The number one piece of advice I would give is to ALWAYS let your children know and feel your love for them. Keep communication open ALWAYS. If YOUR child wants to talk about sex, drugs...etc then let them get advice from YOU. Everyone here has excellent advice.
My advice is to be patient and be willing to think outside of the box. Also don’t take for granted all of the hugs kisses snuggle time is silliness because before you know it they’re grown up and don’t have the time for all of that. I always have the time to say I love you and be patient with them and give them unconditional love.
Don’t just tell your kids they are cute/pretty/handsome. Tell them how smart, creative, funny, kind, patient and helpful they. Build their self esteem and encourage them to believe in themselves for who they are not just how they look.
What worked for everyone else may not work for you or your kids! All kids are different and have different needs. 😊
Dont be in a rush for everything. Slow down and enjoy all things!
Parenthood is a crazy, beautiful adventure... every step along the way is worth it.
There is no “right” answer. Do what is right for you & your baby. And as soon as you think you have a routine, they will change it... so don’t ever think that!
This was what my pediatrician in told us: Don’t compare your kids every milestone. Kids pretty much even out by kindergarten.
When people say don’t rush things, they’re telling the truth. Kids grow up extremely too fast. Also, don’t be afraid to discipline. They will hate it at the time but love you later for it.
I'd say, every child is different... And each one with their own strengths. See those differences, as strengths.
*Pray for them.*
Encourage them.
Let them know they are safe with you.
Discipline them.
Let them be little.
Remember that toddlers are not adults - they haven’t learned how to express themselves in an adult manner - meltdowns will happen.
Pray for their future spouse.
Be intentional when you are spending time with them.
Jump in puddles.
Run in the rain.
Make messes.
Take lots of pictures and videos.
Love your spouse so they know what to look for in a spouse.
Give yourself grace!
*Pray for them.*
Continue to date your spouse. It’s so important to keep that balance.
Don't rush through everyday life. Take time to enjoy the small things. Rocking your baby, reading to your toddler, and so on. Pray for them and pray with them. And don't be too proud to apologize when you're wrong.
Live every day with them like it could be the last .
"Present over perfect."
The golden rule...treat them how you would want to be treated. Give them the grace you would want to receive when you make a mistake. This is something I find myself NOT doing and feel guilty for afterwards. When you make a mistake and someone gets angry with you, how does that make you feel? Kids make mistakes ALL THE TIME...sometimes they know better, but sometimes they don’t, or it was truly an accident. This is something I have to work on and remind myself all the time. I still fail miserably, probably daily, but I try and try to apologize to them when I overreact or don’t give them the grace they need and deserve.
Just teach them to be kind to other people, please and thank you go a long way.
It’s all a phase - the good. The bad. The heart wrenching. Every bit of it. If you find yourself in a spot that feels really hard know that soon you will be past it, and when you find yourself in a stage that fills your heart to the brim know that it too will end quicker than you would like. So, as cliche and difficult as it is to hear...it goes fast. Enjoy it.
You can’t spoil them with too many snuggles or love 💕
I cherish always having supper together every night at the dining room table where we could just be together along with movie nights every Sunday and game night every Wednesday. I will never forget those special times where nothing interrupted us.
It’s ok to be bored, just staring out the window of the car. Teach genuine kindness and compassion for others 💗
My husband said this a while back - DONT BUY SNAP PJS!!! Go for the zipper! You will thank him later... Amazing advice. 😂
Now I’m using this as my excuse to share some of my personal favorites of 2019. :) A few things I realize after going through them all.. My children definitely won’t have a lack of photos of themselves for when they need a wedding slideshow one day, haha!
But they could definitely use more everyday photos with their parents, grandparents, and other family members and friends. And I’m pretty sure we have ZERO photos of my husband and I together last year. So I’ll be working on that this year!
I love that most of these photos were taken on many of our very ordinary days (probably because I was feeling bored). Looking back on these I can’t help but smile and feel so grateful for these simple memories. When my kids look back at these photos I hope they remember the staples of their childhoods - being homebodies and spending time with each other in our home, playing in the backyard, days spent at Mamaw and Pop’s, the chaotic laughter and commotion with cousins at Grandma and Grandpa’s… It doesn’t take much to have a beautiful life, but sometimes it does take slowing down and looking for it. I’m so grateful for the one I’ve been given with the ones I love.
This year I challenge you to pick up your camera (or cell phone) and start capturing some of the ordinary moments in your days with your loved ones. I promise, these photos will mean just as much to you one day than those vacation or “big moment” photos. Maybe even more! :)
