Where Feet May Fail...
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger,
in the presence of my Savior"
Those are song lyrics to one of my very favorite songs "Oceans" by Hillsong United. It touches my heart every time I hear it, sing it, and focus on the meaning of those lyrics. The words "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" has been a constant prayer of mine for over a year now. I want to live the life that God has planned for me... I want to walk in the direction He guides me, wherever that may take me, because I know that path will be much greater than any I could ever plan for myself. It is so simple to whisper that simple prayer, right? "Lord, I want to follow you... Please guide me in the direction you'd like me to walk." Yes, simple... So what happens when God does start to lead you through waters that may be a bit deeper than you like? Or when you're led through times in which your trust feels fragile and you're not sure if you can keep going? If you're anything like me, you may pray that God relieve you from the situation or challenges you are facing. Why, why, why would I be going through such a difficult season if I am following God's will and plan for my life?! Shouldn't it be easy? Hmm...
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. As many of you may know, I've taken a leap of faith by stepping away from teaching this year to pursue some other dreams of mine and see where God may lead me. It's been wonderful... Scary, yes, but wonderful at the same time. I've had ups and downs, doubts and fears, encouraging times and challenging times. These past few weeks have been a challenge and a blessing at the same time (I know oftentimes it's hard to think of these two going hand in hand!). I have been extremely busy with my photography business (blessing!), teaching classes at Ivy Tech, trying to balance family/work/home/other obligations. I realized I may have put a little too much on my plate! It has led me to constant exhaustion, a lot of coffee consumption, a bit of anxiety, consistent rushing around, lack of time to regroup, and a lot of self-doubt! Yikes, what did I get myself into?
Well... now that I have had a chance to step back, reflect, and gather my thoughts I've realized a couple things. Number one, I obviously need to do better at "balancing" and managing my time. That is my fault. But more importantly... Did I expect this to be easy? After months upon months of praying that God lead me where my "trust is without borders", upon unknown waters and unfamiliar places, what should I expect? The easy route? I must be crazy! If I am willing to let go of the reigns and allow God to steer, I must know that I will come upon some deep waters that bring feelings of fear, doubt, and insecurity. How would my faith and character grow if I never had circumstances in which I needed to rely on God to get me through? If I give up at the onset of difficult times, I will be settling for a life that is less than what I'm capable of living. It's when you have the courage to trust and perservere through challenging and scary times that strengthen your faith and lead to great reward.
As I reflect on the last few, very busy weeks, I think about all the good things that have come from it. I have met and gotten to know so many sweet, loving families out in the pretty Fall colors. I've gotten to play with little kids and witness their child-like wonder and perspective on life that bring such simple happiness. I've been able to spend time with my family and nieces and nephew, have meaningful conversations with friends, help students prepare for classroom observations and midterms, go through hundreds of pictures and see happiness, laughter, and loving connections between family members, and lean on my husband when I needed a firm foundation. I've prayed more in the past few weeks than I have in awhile and have gotten quite close to God... Maybe that was His whole point to begin with? To draw close to Him instead of trying to figure it all out on my own...
What is your challenge today? What deep waters are you going through? Struggles with work? Family issues? Marital problems? Financial worries? Relationships, kids, insecurities, stress, anxiety, self-doubt, sadness, loneliness, heartache? Everyone is going through their own battles, I know. And I know mine is very, very small in comparison to so many people in this world. However... Could it be possible that God is wanting you to draw close to Him during these times of need? Is He leading you with the hopes that you will put your trust in Him and His plans for your life? It may seem confusing and not make sense now, but have faith that there is a greater purpose for what you are going through right now. You are learning, you are growing, and you are getting stronger! God may be using you in mighty ways right now without you even knowing it. Keep going and know that you are one step closer to looking back and seeing that the road you were traveling down all makes perfect sense.
"Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed
and you won't start now"
If you have a few minutes, I highly recommend watching this video. It gives me chills every time. :)